Inside Stories

Personal stories by and about our elders and volunteers

• Friendship on Film
• A Simple Thank You
• Living to be 120 Years Old, by Dorothy, 86
• Have Gumption, Will Travel by Robin, 76
• See What I Mean??? By Dorothy, 85
• Little Brothers & Casa Juan Diego Make Christmas Cheer Ageless by Kelly Matlock, freelance writer

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A Simple Thank You

It all began with a simple thank you note.  A friendship which formed between two women spanned between two generations.

Anna was introduced to Little Brothers-Friends of the Elderly at a career fair while she was attending Loyola University.  She read the job description for the program assistant position, and it said that all you have to be is a friend.  Anna thought she could definitely do that.

Marilyn had just settled in Chicago after an extensive trip across the U.S. by Greyhound bus.  It was a trip that she had planned since she was a little girl growing up in southern Illinois.  Marilyn had been referred to LBFE by a woman at the senior living complex where she resides.

Marilyn and Anna met at a LBFE party.  Anna was Marilyn’s chauffer to and from the luncheon.  But, it was what happened after the luncheon that had such a profound effect on the relationship.  Marilyn sent Anna a thank you note expressing her gratitude for the time that Anna spent with her that day.  Anna was touched by the thoughtfulness behind Marilyn’s card, because not many elders do that sort of thing.  It meant a lot to her to know that Marilyn thought she was a special person.

“Everyone was new to me at Little Brothers,” said Marilyn.  “I could see that Anna was a great person who had love in her heart.  She spent the time because she wanted to.”

When Anna and Marilyn get together they like to talk about everyday events.  They often talk about Marilyn’s travels and her job with Brink’s Incorporated, where she was employed until she retired at age 71.  Anna shares her goal of becoming an artist in the near future. 

“Her stories are so funny, I just love it,” said Anna.  “So many seniors are just in need of friends.  So many elders are just lonely.”

“Not enough young people want to work with seniors.  Being old doesn’t mean you have to stop.  All we (seniors) need is a little thank you,” said Marilyn.

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Living to be 120 Years Old

by Dorothy, 86

Last year I met a young man named Paul who lives in my building and was studying to be a doctor. He asked me if I would help him to pass a very important exam he had to take, one that showed how he reacted toward his patients.

I agreed, and spent about ten hours with him over a few days, pretending to be a young woman with a painful back, and then complaining like an elderly man with gout...It brought out the actress in me.

When we had finished, Paul offered to take me to his favorite Chinese restaurant, warning me that we had to go early because the oil they use in cooking is fresh then, but gets used over and over again as the day progresses. Paul, a vegetarian, urged me to eat a lot of fruit and vegetables, which I already do. "Eat grapes every day," he said. "They're good for you." Then we went grocery shopping. He had to get his weekly supply of papaya. He also picked up fresh sweet corn and sweet potatoes, which he can prepare easily in his microwave oven.

Another stop we made was at a health food store, where he encouraged me to purchase some enzymes. I've been using them ever since, having gotten my doctor's approval.

When I told Paul that I expect to live to be 100, because of all the books I want to read, he suggested that I should aim for 120 or even 150. He's been giving me all sorts of advice on how I can do this, but I'm not following all of his suggestions. After all, I'm a person of the 20th century, and am not so eager to be pulled into the 21st. Besides, he never answers me when I ask him, "Where are you going to be when I'm 120?"

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Have Gumption, Will Travel

by Robin, 76

Robin, hundreds of miles away and loving it

Where in the world have you always wanted to go? Just go! My experience can be yours.

Years ago, when Alaska was a Never Never land, I promised myself one day I’d go there. Then, this past summer, an ad for a 10 day cruise beckoned. I called the travel agency to verify the offer and to ask about accessible cabins and arrangements. I was assured it was all “can do”. Then, I looked up at my partner and asked: “Do you want to go to Alaska?” He raised his eyebrows. “How do you think you’re going to do that?” he asked. I didn’t think there were ways NOT to do it. Sure, I’m a 75 year old woman, in a wheelchair, with MS, prone to seizures. But it never occurred to me that I could not make this trip. Although there were things to plan for or around, such as making arrangements for my shepherd Sinatra, we did those early and easily. Six months later, I’m still looking through 10 dozen photos and I’m still at sea every morning over my first mug of Alaskan coffee.

...It took me 40 years to get past the denial syndrome of disability and expecting to be 39 again. But I realized I can still do nearly anything I want. And so can you.

We took a paddle wheel trip and panned for gold. We traveled in Denali National Park and saw North America’s highest mountain, Mount McKinley. We saw whales and dolphins, caribou and bears, mountain sheep (the ones with the curled horns) and bald eagles. We enjoyed room service and sitting on the balcony watching the glaciers float by.

Many of my friends have said “Alaska? We’ve been there,” as though we were late to the party. But they didn’t have the concerns of someone older or disabled. So, it took me 40 years to get past the denial syndrome of disability and expecting to be 39 again. But I realized I can still do nearly anything I want. And so can you.

A major attitude change is accepting your inability to do things you always had been able to do. Accepting help is a difficult phase of both disability and growing old. But when the crew offered to carry me and my wheelchair down four flights of aluminum stairs so I could go ashore at one of the ports of call, I put aside my pride and said “yes!” I’ve learned the world provides plentiful resources and welcomes us, not just to the table, but to the feast. Enjoy everything! There’s more to come. My answer when asked if the glass is half empty or half full: Fill it up again! Give me more!

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See What I Mean???

by Dorothy, 85

Dorothy, astonished

Many people are leery about having their cataracts removed because they remember when their parents or other relatives had the operation 30 or 40 years ago. It was a difficult procedure then. Now, you can have the operation in the morning and be home by the afternoon.

A year ago, I had the cataract surgery on my right eye. I was instructed to wear no make-up, no nail polish and no jewelry. I was also told to have nothing to eat or drink after midnight the day of my operation. But I could take my blood pressure medication with a tiny amount of water.

When I arrived at the surgery center that morning, I changed into hospital attire and had eye drops administered many times. There was blood pressure testing, temperature taking and an IV doohickey on my left arm. A marker was attached over my right eye, the one to be operated on.

The anesthesiologist told me I would not be put to sleep. I would be able to hear what was happening. I walked into the operating room and was situated on the table.

The operation seemed like a long time, but there was never any pain. I was a little dizzy as I got up, so they put me in a wheel chair and gave me some apple juice. After resting, I got dressed and was given dark plastic glasses to wear outside, a bag containing eye drops and a plastic patch to wear while sleeping. Then, my friend from Little Brothers drove me home.

That very night I noticed the amazing improvement in my eyesight. When I looked outside, the street lights looked so much brighter! In my apartment, where I have books piled everywhere, I could read their titles six feet away. And the television faces of the news reporters seemed like they were really in my living room! When I looked in the mirror, however, I saw an older woman than I saw previously. I hadn’t been aware of all the wrinkles.

I’m still waiting to have the operation on my other eye. The cost of the first operation came to just under $10,000. All but $100 was taken care of by Medicare and Blue Cross.

After my second operation, I’ll probably need to wear glasses for reading, but isn’t that what most people need when they reach the golden years?

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Little Brothers & Casa Juan Diego Make Christmas Cheer Ageless

by Kelly Matlock, freelance writer

Amidst the white powdery snow and yellow, red and green flashing Christmas lights strung from neighborhood homes, a small boy with a backpack trudges through the snow and runs excitedly through a large blue door.

The door, located at 2020 S. Blue Island Avenue in Pilsen, awaits the arrival of many Mexican-American children ages 6-12, as well as men and women 70 years and older of all races, some of who the children have met before. This night would not be out of the ordinary for many of the kids that attend the Casa Juan Diego Youth Center, affiliated with the St. Pious V church, almost every day after school from for extracurricular and cultural activities. Yet tonight, their visitors will make it special.

On this night, volunteers, staff and elders from Little Brothers-Friends of the Elderly come to visit the kids at the Casa. Little Brothers, an organization that helps emotionally support those growing old alone in Chicago, brings elders to spend time with the kids and share their stories and lives. The elders from Little Brothers know that they can learn as much from the kids as the kids can learn from them, like perhaps what is in style or what new games kids play these days. If nothing else, it is a great opportunity to smile and laugh in the company of others during the holiday season, and a way to break the generation barrier that often divides the young and the old.

“It was a good surprise (to visit the Casa), I enjoy the kids,” said one elder, Isidro Rosado. “They make me feel good and I think they enjoy my personality,” he explains.

Bob Zimmerman, another elder at Little Brothers, said he was amazed at how happy and intelligent the kids were. “They were bright and smiling, very warm and friendly. I was quite impressed…They all came from poor families but their clothes were clean and pressed. Most came from bilingual homes or homes where they speak only Spanish, yet their English was perfect,” he said. “One little boy in particular took a liking to me, and when he introduced me to his mom, I realized he had no dad.” Bob and the other elders appreciated the joy and positive energy that the kids exuded, considering that so many of them have difficult home lives.

... it is a great opportunity to smile and laugh in the company of others during the holiday season, and a way to break the generation barrier that often divides the young and the old.

In the spirit of Christmas, a festive project has been planned for the kids and elders on this evening at Casa Juan Diego. But first, the after-school program leader, Katie, asks the kids who their guests are, and what they are there for. Some of the kids remember their old friends from visiting them at a Little Brothers summer retreat in a farm house in Rochelle, Illinois, the year previous. Samantha, age 9, Libet, age 10, and David, age 11, regular students in attendance at the youth center, wonder why their old friend Maria is not there. While one of the Little Brothers staff members explains that Maria is at a doctor appointment and couldn’t make it, the kids reminisce about the time they spent with her and the other elders at Rochelle during the summer.

“(We played) tic-tac-toe…bean bags….and, what are those things called?” Libet asks as she makes throwing motions.

“Water balloons,” a Little Brothers staff member reminds her.

“Oh yeah!” Libet says. “Those!”

Samantha, Libet and David pass around a card for each other to sign that they have created for Maria. After they have colored, folded and signed their unique design, it is ready to send to their old friend. Christine Bertrand, Director of the Intergenerational Program at Little Brothers, takes the card and tells the kids she’ll send it to Maria and have her write them a letter in return. As intergeneration program Director, Bertrand is in charge of all of the Little Brothers events that bring the elders together with youth. Other past intergenerational events she has planned and coordinated include elementary school students meeting with elders at the Little Brothers center to write poetry, and high school students doing history projects in collaboration with their Little Brothers’ old friends.

“For me, my goals (for the intergenerational program) are a few,” Bertrand explains. “To make sure to break stereotypes from the kids’ side, as well as the elders’ side, and to show them that they have a variety of point in common. Also I want to built and develop trust between generations, enrich each groups with authentic activities, and improve mutual understanding.”

At the Casa Juan Diego, before everyone is told of the art project they will be doing, the kids sit in a circle of chairs with the elders and must introduce themselves. Each person says his or her name, age, grade, and favorite food. Nachos and pizza are the majority favorite foods of the kids by a landslide, and 81 year old Isidro tells the kids how to make his favorite dishes. Ms. Bertrand makes all of the kids cringe when she announces her favorite food from France is frog legs. A chorus of “ewww”s bounces off the walls as the introduction game concludes as Katie, the program leader, reminds the kids to be careful on the floors since they are wet from all of the snowy boots and shoes.

“The youth center acts as a liaison between the schools and the parents,” says Dana, a Theology major at Wheaton College who is an intern at St. Pious and helping out at Casa Juan Diego’s after school program. “It is kind of a cultural interpreter, since many of the parents don’t know English or don’t have a good understanding of (American) culture yet.” Dana finds that the youth center brings anyone who enters it joy, since the kids are part of such a hopeful culture, in which many holidays are celebrated and fiestas are thrown often.

Food is served before the project is explained, and three or four kids sit at a table with one elder from Little Brothers. The kids are told to ask their old friend lots of questions, because they will have to talk about what they learned later. Sopa Posole is served, a brothy, reddish-orange Mexican soup with corn and chicken, and is served with tortilla soups and orange juice. The kids and elders begin to talk over the meal, gabbing about everything from what Santa Claus is bringing to recent sports scores. The elders explain where they came from, who they are. Some show photographs. The kids talk about their families and friends, what’s going on at school and church.

After the meal, the kids learn that they will be making Christmas ornaments with their old friends. There is a quick demonstration on how to color the paper wreath, cut it, write on it and then put a string through it to make it an ornament.

“It’s not for you,” the kids are reminded by their leaders. “It is a gift to give to someone in need, or someone who may be sad and alone at Christmas,” they are told.

The art supplies are handed out and everyone begins making their own masterpieces. The kids watch their old friends draw and color, and try to emulate their expertise. The elders watch the children and find awe in their wild imaginations and creativity.

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